Missing you

I miss.....
.....the way you run to me when i kneel down
......seeing you laying there like a dead corpse when i come out of my room
.....the way your eyes lit up when i am having my meals
......you jumping onto my lap
.....your smell
.....you jumping into bed with me and we sleep together
.....your irritating barking
......rubbing that tummy of yours
.... the way you yawn
....... seeing you running around the house like crazy
.... showering you
........you sitting beside me while i do my sit-ups
.....running with you back home after our walk
.....hearing you whine when i clean your ears
......the way you sit on the top of the sofa like a lion king
....your rough play..biting me and pouncing onto me
.....seeing you run freely on the beach
...patting you to sleep
....the touch of the nice fur of yours....
.....you so so much.............

I didn't get it...

After a long wait and lots of prayer, the result is finally out. My application for my studies grant was unsuccessful. Disappointed, but I am not really upset about it. :) Somehow, I am quite mentally prepared for it, OR should I say God have prepared me mentally for it? I asked myself before, if I didnt get the grant, how? Haha..I don't really have an answer for that, but i trust that God will open another way for me. That gives me peace. For now, all i know is I just got to save, scrape and work during my 1st 2 yrs of studies to try to ease my parent's load for my 3rd year of studies. Next year, I shall try the grant again. :)

Is exciting to see how God is goign to move in my life.

I am a little girl waiting for the candy floss to form while it spin in that machine...I can't wait to taste the sweetness...the sweet sweet taste that melts in my mouth...

Oh man..27 days....

MY goodness...only 27days more and i am leaving here!

(Singing)
Every place I go, I think of you
Every song I sing, I sing for you
When I come back
I'll wear your wedding ring
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go...

(Stop) ok, ok...I guess is still early to sing that song..moreover, there isn't any man in my life i can sing this song to. Hahaa!

Right... I still haven't pack my room. Oh great... Is like being bomb! Bags throw all over the floor..letters, files, papers they are piled up on my desk. My closet, when u open it, clothes can fall out of it. I think I am the most messy girl on this earth, or maybe just in Singapore. Well, both are bad enough. Time is really running out! *pull hair* I am still blogging!! ooohooo!! Isn't that something i should be proud of. :P

Still got freelance to clear...*cheeR* Tomorrow is a day out with my Vege buddies - Movies, eat , shop...lovely.. and badminton in the evening! Yeah! Badminton!!! Is been a long time, I simply can't wait!

And i still haven't start packing. YEah! *jumps around*

Life is good! Isn't God wonderful? ;)

MurderBall

(Just a quick sketch of Zupan)

Is about ruby...but on wheelchair. These people are amazing, in fact I think they are much stronger then many of us who are well and jumping around. Mentally strong, overcoming physical and moving on. I never know there is event called paralympic till I watch this movie. Great show, go catch it~

I still remember when i sprained my ankle and then following my wrist, I was feeling real shit. I didn't really show it, but the feeling of not been able to use your hand to do the usual stuffs is really sucky. I can't even hold a cup of water properly. Moreover I need to draw and use the mouse to do my work. I was wondering when will I ever have a full recovery...Is been a month now and is still kinda aching. Still, I ought to thank God for his protection especially yesterday after i read about this malay girl who fell off her bicycle during a Pulau Ubin cycling trip. She appears to have just bruise and cut, but mintues later she fainted. She was send to the hospital and appear to have a blood clot in her brain due to the fall. She didn't pull through after the operation. =(

I fell off my bicycle too, rolled, hit my head against the road and scratches from elbows to knee to my back and a sprain wrist. It could be worse...who knows...

Job33:4 The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life.

Sunday

"没有打来叫你喝菊花茶， 就放在那里一正天！！“ “冰箱的剩饭又没有吃!， 放两天了！“ “把家好象当作酒店! 回来睡觉就出门， 整天不在家! "

These are all the scolding i had from my mum this morning after i came out of shower. I didn't notice the cup of tea she made, moreover is being covered up. Then not sure since when, it have become my responsiblity to clear the leftovers in the fridge. AND i have been home almost the whole week during the day at home doing my work, now she is claiming I wasn't home most of the time... *roll eyeballs* I could have scream at her but i went into my room to cry instead. Haha...I am such a baby...

Oh well, what a day to start my sunday. I left my home earlier to avoid anymore clashes with my mum, still i promise her i will come home for lunch to eat the leftovers. This month is about family, how irony whenI was quite upset with my mum. Every Sunday she knew i am going to church and she seems to have choosen this as the official day of the week to pick on me for every little thing. Sometimes I would have to wait till she finish washing the clothes in the toilet then i can shower, and i will be late for Sunday school. Sigh...But, I love going to church, my sadness jus disappear when i see the gals and friends. Hahaa..

I remember auntie Violet sharing with us during church camp about how her sister will obey her mum and do up all her chores assign to her before going to church. She honored her parents like how the bible says we should. This is something which I am still learning. ;)

Today laoban is leading the worship. I don't know most of the songs, but the last 2 songs touches me greatly. Pastor ask all out to the front, and ask families to hold hands and pray. I wasn't expecting anyone to hold my hand, just then Divinia with her parents by her side, step forwad and hold my hand and rachel's . I was so touched!

God is just so wonderful...Again and again he is there to comfort me through others or situations.

How to not fall in love you?

You are near...

Under my blanket tears starts to roll,
The feeling is not sadness but gratefulness.
I thank you for the new life you have given me,
the people you have bring into my life.
They encourages me and stand by me,
they bring joy into my life...
but, I can't help feeling
i am unworthy of all these...
Who am I to let you shower
so much grace and mercy?
Who am I ?
I don't deserve it...
I buried myself more, hugging my pillow...
then i feel your pressence surrounding me.
You say I am precious in your eyes
since the day i am created,
and is all because you love me..
My tears dried and you place a smile on
my face knowing you are near.
Thank you...

I drift into deep sleep.... *snore*

Drenched in perspiration

Is been a long time since i jog that far and non-stop! Yes i did it! I wanted to complete the route i been jogging the pass week. Yesterday was the 5th time i jog that route. The previous times i always end up walking because I was puffing and huffing and feel anytime i going to collaspe on the road and no one is going to save me cause is a quiet area with constructions and lands full of tall grass. I love the feeling of been drenched in perspiration. Well, not many girls do...and many times it makes me wonder "am i normal?" hahaha!

The sky was looking beautiful, it looks like God have open a hole among the thick layer of clouds. The sun rays was shinning through the hole. Hahaa...i keep looking at it while i jog and was wondering will Jesus appear at that "hole"? Ok, well he didn't. ahhaha! It was a cool evening perfect for jogging. I can't say i enjoy jogging but is actaully the easiest and best way to keep fit and train up stamina. Many times i feel so out of breath and my legs ache so bad that makes me want to stop and walk, but I keep on going, slowly and soon my breathing gets better, my aching are gone.

I feel this is like my walk with God. (I could have turn back when i am tired. I could have stop and never try again.) When i 1st come to church, no one really knows who i am. I could have easily left and stop attending. I stayed because deep inside me i was looking for somthing to rely on, to piece me back again. I choose to take the step of faith and simply trust in him. I thank God i stayed on long enough to let him crack me and mold me. It haven't being a easy walk with God, and i always ask God to remind me the day we met, the times he speaks to me. Always be real to me. Many times i stumble and turn away. I used the pain of the flesh to ease the pain of the heart. Bit by bit i struggle to overcome, but it is when i am weak i will realise how strong and powerful he is isnt it? :)

Gosh, I can't wait to go Savannah...I know my life there is going to be so dependent on him. I will still see beautiful sunset like in singapore. :)

You never fail to amaze me with your creation

Mustafa

Is a thursday! My parents are not working today so we decided to head on to Mustafa to buy a BIG luggage for my studies. I need a big one to fit my desktop to bring to states...bummer...

We spend almost 30mins or more measuring the huge range of luggages to make sure my desktop can fit in. Finally, we decide on one and I was praying hard this better be big enough, as it seems to just fit in nicely. We head on to walk around Mustafa. I have no idea Mustafa is so huge and this shopping center have almost everything!

I was at the sports section and i saw this thingy that i been eyeing to get. BuFF!! It was at the lowest section among the bags and wallets. I been wanting to get one, and saw my friend wearing it which makes me even more tempted. Those trekker shops are selling at like $28 - $30+ ? Anyway, it is going at a range of $22 -27 , which is cheaper. Immediately, I told my Mummy i want to have one! Like a little gal asking for ice cream. heez.... We squat there for like 15mins to choose one...

Finally I pick a pink, purplerish with a touch of greenish and yellowish....and i simply love it! I was playing with the different kinda style to fit on my head. My mum was laughing her head off seeing my performance. She say i look like "Ah boo neh" (indian) & "kei lian kia" (Malay) Oh well, she paid for it so deserve some entertaining from me. :)

My Buff

Death... Are your prepared?

The sun have set and i was walking back home after a tiring jog. I saw a funeral being held near my block. Being the usual Kaypor(nosey) me, I purposely walk nearer to take a look, it was a christian furneral. I personally have not attend one before. People are smiling, laughters filled the air, exchanging well wishes. There is even buffet dinner! I smile at them while i walk pass. It just suddenly strikes me, when my time comes, what will my furneral be like? how will the people be behaving at my furneral?

I still remember long ago, my sunday school teacher says this "Death is a sure event in life, but how many actually prepare for it?" To me preparing is how I live my life, how have I impact others while being who I am. Have i being a living testimony for God? I sure hope i have been one. :)

My furneral...hmmm.... Can i have it in purple and white color. People are not allowed to cry (unless is full of Joy or misses me too much). I want vases of white daisy at each table, copies of my life journey with photos so people can read about it when they are bored. Might even bore them more. Hahaha! Have you ever thought about how you want yours to be?

White Daisy are lovely.......